I have two teenage daughters. They stayed with me when I kicked my wife out of the house. I NEVER sought to keep them away from their mother. They saw her every day (if that is what my wife wanted). But, you CAN completely detach from your wife and go dark without it affecting your parenting. During all that mess, I learned to become the best father I had ever been.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing