Limerence and My Situation

[Parkema]

Hello All,

Just going through sandi2 post and straight off the bat.

"It is the attitude or state of mind he has to have, when dealing with a WW situation. I don't mean he necessarily runs out and files for a D. However, he should not be afraid to do it. I would suggest that before he filed, that he separate from her, to show her he means business". I did this within a month of D-Day.
I do nothing for her at all I can see that how I am managing my R can seem like I'm acting like a door mat, being there for her as a friend and her safe place BUT this is how relationships start.

My post was about limerence and how it always ends I am basically relying on this whilst working on myself and investing in something that might or more likely not happen and her RC our MR.
But please also note I'm still working on me whilst realising my future may not involve her (difficult we have children together) and being the best I can be can only help in any future relationships.

Again I have boundaries which she is fully aware of but just talking to her and validating whilst staying friendly when she approaches me does not make me that weak needy "nice guy" I'm in control of what I'm doing and if she pushes my established boundaries I act on them - simple.

"This is especially true when it comes to enforcing his boundaries. If he is scared of what she may do, how effectively do you think he'll be in enforcing his boundaries? She smells the fear in him." Why would anybody in my situation not enforce? What more can she do to me...

Again don't loose sight of our children this needs to be factored into how I manage my situation.

I know this all sounds the total opposite of what many feel should be followed but horses for courses and I will continue to do my strategies with solid boundaries.

Thanks for your help.

Mark