Sounds as if she has realised that made a mistake. Proceed with caution, but allow her to lead. To me this sounds as if she wants to discuss the relationship.
Turns out she is cheating on me don't know if it is physical or just talking thru text. Guess all of the progress I thought we had made was for nothing
the A didn't make her happy and now she wonders if the R would make her happy
The problem with the MLCer is they dont realize they have to go inward and it is a journey for all of us to find ourselves many a MLCer would go from person to person to find themselves doesn't work tread carefully..she sounds confused and they will keep us on a hook as long as possible-
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
She states that it has only happened one time she went out and had to much to drink and slept with one of her customers from work.
I don't know if I want to move past this, granted we were are separated and not together. But man does it hurt so bad
Do people ever move on in a relationship after something like this happens.
We talked for about two hours after I found all this out and it was very emotional for both of us. I just don't know what to do any advice from you guys would be great
You are in shock. And making decisions right now is probably the wrong thing to do.
Give yourself some time to process this stuff and once you start to feel more balanced, you will be in much better state of mind to decide what to do next.
I don't know if I want to move past this, granted we were are separated and not together. But man does it hurt so bad
Do people ever move on in a relationship after something like this happens.
So sorry sls.
Unfortunately, you are at the beginning of a very emotional rollercoaster ride and it isn't an easy one. I would agree with Thornton and hold off on making any major decisions right now. Sadly this is going to be a long journey so deciding if you can move past this or not right now is not recommended. The news of the A is too fresh and you are going to go through many stages of mixed feelings that may hinder any rational decision making abilities. I would take some time and read MWD thread on "Healing from Infidelity". It may help with many questions you have right now.
Also, couples do and can move past A's in their M's. It does take a lot of work and healing, but it is possible and some have even come out with a stronger MR then before.
Good luck and keep posting
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
Little compares to the devastation people feel when they discover their spouse has been unfaithful. Couples often struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never ending arguments about the betrayal. Healing from infidelity is achievable for both of you with the right support and tools.
I would hold off on any major decisions at this point. However there are things that could work and make a difference. I suggest you speak to a DB coach, as they are experts in looking at what has happened to bring you to this point in your relationship and what is the best way to interact with her, so that you are most likely to bring her closer and not push her any further away. Your coach's expertise will help you come up with a very specific plan (that may be counter intuitive to what you feel like saying and doing) on how to best turn things around. I wish you all the best and would be happy to discuss the coaching with you.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
So this morning we talked on the phone for a couple mins. I explained my feelings in a calm and controlled manner. I told her that I cant try and work on us when she is have sex(dating) another man. I refuse to be option b. Before I found all this out we had talked a lot about us and what we both needed to work on. I told her that I can no longer do that, I will not be her emotional support when she is with another man. I also probably screwed up because I told her I refuse to be in limbo for ever. I stated that by July 31st, I needed to know if she wanted to try and work on our marriage or be done. I didn't tell her we had to be back together by then but she needed to search her heart and soul and see what she wanted. I picked July 31st because that will have been 3 months since she walked away. And it will be two months since I found out about her having sex when we were separated. It will give me a chance to process all of this and figure out what I want as well.
Sorry for double posting but I have to get this out as well
I am not going to tell anyone about the affair or sex when separated other than everyone on here.
Here is where my concern comes in. She is going to see this guy when he comes into buy parts from her. And she is scared that if her boss finds out she had sex with a customer she will be fired. And I can understand her fear of that because its her only income now that we are separated. But how do I deal with the fact if we get back together, she is going to see him?
