Limerence and My Situation

[Parkema]

Hi LiM

I can't control her only myself so her carrying on with the A in front of me is the main reason my primary boundary was put in place I left the family home not an easy decision.

I'm a nice person but have boundaries she knows what she's doing is wrong BUT she can't help herself at the moment (those chemicals) again I don't pursue she does and this is a fundamental thing to achieve, agree..?
Maybe I'm being too nice but see this as putting deposits into her love bank instead of having them removed. We must all remember what we did to end up with this person in the first place and it wasn't by being someone they couldn't talk to or feel unsafe around and this is what I am trying to get back to BUT with strong boundaries.

A second class citizen who she see as being able to feel safe enough to talk about anything and not be berated when doing so, why not the AP/LO? Again I don't initiate these conversations.

You've got to stop "being there" for her. She's chosen a life that excludes you and until the A dies and she experience some sort of horrible loss from her choices, you have no shot at R the MR. Anything you do to be supporting or encouraging right now will only make you look weak and prolong things.

I agree to a point but the original subject was about limerence and this does end I'm just making sure when it does I'm the best choice for her and this takes strength.

Again limited contact due to having children who we share custody and when at mine I remove myself.
No pursuing ever, no calls, no texts no emails nothing. She pursues me, maybe I am providing her with some emotional support but on my terms.

Limerence end my bridge is in tact.

Thanks for your opinions they are truly appreciated.

I will look at the other post as I really want to use your knowledge and experiences to escalate R.

Mark.