Limerence and My Situation

[Bdog37]

Hey Mark,

Sorry you find yourself here, but I think you have come to the right place.

Have you read the links that Cadet sent you? There is some really good information there that will help you understand more about your current sitch.

One in particular I would read is the "Boundaries cheat sheet" by Wonka. LH19 brings up a good questions as to where do you draw the line... She is carrying on an A with OM so how do you show her that this is something you will not stand for? IMPO you need to detach and in all circumstances stop engaging in wonderful conversations about your past. You can still be polite, and validate, but keep the conversations about the boys.

We had a great night talking and it felt like old times, she then had a call on her mobile and I instantly knew it was the AP/LO she didn't answer it and instead put it away.

You are carrying on a great conversation with her when the OM calls. How does that make YOU feel and did you say anything to her about it? Sounds to me like she is "cake-eating" and this is something that I believe you should put an end to. Not only to help her realize that she can't have both, but also to help you and your sanity.

Have you ever discussed anything with her in regards to what has led up to the A? You mentioned that she said everything was fine, and you agreed, but most people in wonderful M's don't go seeking A's... I could be wrong, but you will find on here that many A's start because of some emotional or physical need the S is searching for. Check some of the threads on here to help get an ideal of the mind frame from a WAS or someone who is the one engaging in the A. It may help understand where your W's mind frame is.

Good luck and keep posting.