KYH - I also see similarities in our spouses, even though one is a man and the other a woman.
Bttrfly - yes, things are definitely better this year. And sorry for your tears.
Sotto - yeah, I don't really want to put myself in any situation where projection surfaces. There's been a lot of it from him and much of what he thinks/says is very, very weird even by MLC standards. (And go for the crop top on casual Friday! Hah!)
Ciluzen - thank you for the insights and the wonderfully supportive post.
Roist - thanks for the check-in. I am okay. I am just thinking about what to do and when to do it. At times, I am surprised by how deep in la-la land h is and at times there are glimpses of the old him. More on that to follow.
Job - thank you for that advice. It would have never occurred to me to focus on him and the present. I would have thought he would be on the defensive. Not sure yet, when I will say something. Still mulling it over. As I said above, at times it feels too soon still. But at other times, I think: maybe he will hear pieces of what I say?
Here are some gems from life with the live-in.
Recently, h told us all that he should have gone to Mardi Gras while he was still young. Now he is too old. (Of course he said this out of the blue.) He was no monk when he was young so it just bummed me out that he is still on that "I should have partied more" bus. Lots of superficialty/immaturity still.
S13 made fun of h, telling him he is old. H agreed he was and said he really didn't care anymore. He seemed to mean it and it was nice to see some degree of acceptance for the inevitable. It was nice to see some dignified resignation.
He paid for something when we were out and told me expressly he was taking care of me in an exaggerated way. I didn't know what to make of it. It was like he didn't realize what he's done the past few years and just wanted me to know what a swell guy he is.
This one is weird. We were at a local tournament for s11. They were charging for parking at the gate. H and I were joking it was such a rip off as we go to games there every weekend without paying for parking. Well, h went through the gate (on purpose) without paying! So not like him. He used to be so honest down to the penny! As soon as he went through he said: "I don't know why I did that. That's not right." He dropped us off and went back and paid. He looked sheepish.
He sometimes texts me now. Every once in a while.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
