There are decisions to be made now that are not so black and white because of the issue of possible drugs. I am told by my lawyer that because our marriage was short (we were together for a little 15 years but married for only 7) it does not make sense to divide out pensions/retirements. It does not make sense to go after alimony. And that I cant go after all the money he withdrew secretly from his accounts...which makes no sense to me. That money could have been put down as a home or investment. He lied to me about that money. That money would have benefited our son in every way, but my ex is the LOWEST OF THE LOW. HE IS NOTHING BUT A SELF SERVING, SWINE.
I am told that he can later argue child support while son is in college. I am told that he can pay less then standard 17%, if I some day earn more money. This all seems terribly unfair, since his child support would not even pay for an illegal basement apartment where I live and since I have son way over the standard 70/30 percent of the time. I am told I cannot move to a more affordable area without his permission. (Which I am exceedingly grateful for and in all truth would rather have time with son then more money)None of this seems legit to me, but its what the lawyer is telling me.
I read all these men's rights groups and I have no idea what they are complaining about. The laws have certainly not been favorable to me.
I am not sure if my lawyer is just not aggressive, or practical regarding what courts would likely decide and the costs of legal fees.
The unfairness of the financial aspect really bothers me.
I am negotiating for supervised overnights, but wonder if its enough. Ex comes across as well dressed. Responsible. He is for the most part on time and always responsible with child support. He seems Concerned about son - he appears involved because i have extra curricular outings and parties scheduled for ex to take him to when he does have son. But really, he is only concerned when in front of the lawyers. He rarely asks about son and takes no interest in his health or educational interests. He is so high functioning, and so aware I even doubt myself about a drug addiction problem. So what is safe for son? I dont even know. And I want my son to have a relationship with his father.
My biggest fear is that my son will be like his father though. What to I do, what do I say to prevent that?
Just rambling and ruminating on the same things I always seem to. It is weighting heavily on my mind.
