I have noticed a theme in newcomers. Mostly men who say "but she never said she thinking about leaving!" I see it IRL too. People don't want to make changes or stay consistent unless they are about to lose something. It's like it's not worth it unless they are going to lose it. I would warn every couple to veer away from this way of thinking.
Part of my problem in R's is reading these newcomers I think. For so many years. I think I try to hard to have a relationship where we compromise, meet each other needs, LISTEN, act, and keep it healthy and not ignore it. It probably comes off as me trying "too" hard. But I have been reading about "failed" marriages most of my adult life since mine failed. I try so hard to learn from mine and others mistakes.
I think I actually have the right tools, but others haven't quite experienced or known what I have in regards to marriage and divorce.
Who am I was not the reason my last relationship didn't last. I know that. But I realize how I am in an R and what my expectations are in return. I'm afraid it might hurt me.
