I'm so confused cause the whole reason she said she wasn't happy was because I wasn't as compassionate and sensitive to her feelings as she wanted. So it just seems so wrong to be insensitive and just leave her alone? But I've been pursuing for the first 10 days and all it did was her coming over to tell me she does want a divorce. So maybe I was going by it all wrong
Though I think backing off is what's best for now (and it's only been 2 weeks!), I also think its fair and healthy for you to examine what she said.
Dig a little deeper. You were not married that long to have become complacent.
What happened in your previous relationships?
This^^ is not to say it's all your fault. But I am not one who says "it's not you and it's only her", though there is a big part of this that is simply out of your control.
However it's crazy to avoid examining your role, b/c we know you want to reduce the chance of this happening again, on your end, if you two do reconcile
when you dig deep, is this all really new to you?
I agree that it was way too early for me to become complacent but unfortunately that is what happened. Not making this and excuse but this is my second marriage, my first marriage my W cheated on me twice. We were together for 10 years and I was only 2 months separated when I met my now current wife for after the second time my first w cheated and she walk out I knew I didn't want her in my life anymore. So in a way I never really had any single time so it was like one continuous relationship although they're completely different people. I do have a bad habit of getting too comfortable in a relationship too fast and so I start to neglect things that I really shouldn't neglect. This is something I am dead set on fixing within myself because it's gotten me nowhere.
As wth this being new to me, it is new to me in this relationship. It's obvious she was telling her close friends and stepmom for a while that she's been feeling unhappy but she truthfully never told me she was unhappy other than like I said before the one time she brought up wanting more intimacy. But she never hinted ever about wanting to leave, even my sis n law which they talked all the time never even saw this coming. She did tell me a few days before my W left she was crying on the phone to her saying how she knows I'm a good man but she just felt disconnected recently which I kinda knew cause of the comment I made about her weight she distanced herself almost immediately.
I am working on my bad habits daily cause I do not want that part of me around ANYMORE! I'm sick of it, After hearing how unhappy my wife was for over a year or so I'm sick of me neglecting her feelings for what reason? Maybe cause I'm selfish or maybe cause I'm just an oblivious dude who thinks that once we're married I instantly settle right into getting comfortable. No more I'm done with that. This is really making me reflect and realize how much of a role I played in all this even tho I never raised my voice with her always gave her things just because, brought home flowers once a month, told her I loved her daily. Always thanked her when she didn't something nice for me or just for cooking dinner. But I just didn't realize how much the intimacy and compassion mattered to her. I'm such a fool
