The only time we have talked the last 2 weeks is about the dogs. If I have them, she will text asking how they are and that she will pick them up from doggy daycare, or if she has them and is going to drop them off-to make sure I can pick them up.
I'm going to be out of town this weekend, so I asked if she could watch them over the weekend.
She responds in a lengthy text message:
"Hey [me] - was thinking about you and hope school is going well for you [I teach]. I have no interest in not being a friend and support in your life if that is something that is possible. I care for you and always will - I simply can't live the life I was living with you - it's not me. I'm happy to watch them. Is it [friend's] Bach?"
Then
"You know this - I'm sexual and spontaneous and touchy and emotional and to find myself alone in those things was just not whole."
We have talked about this many times over and I'm practicing detaching so I respond in text: "Ok-I hear that. Thank you for watching them"
She calls a few times while I'm in the shower and asks why we can't talk. I respond with why I was away from my phone and that I don't have a lot of time to talk. She calls back and we talk for a bit-she wants to talk about my feelings-am I upset?, angry?, resentful?, and asks about the weekend-prying for details (where am I going? When am I coming back?) when I'm not upfront with them, but then upset that I didn't just provide them in the first place without her asking. I find this really ironic-she has not been up front about anything the last 16 months. I tell her I have to go and end the call.
So, how am I going? I'm trying to detach, create distance. I don't know how else to respond when all she wants to talk about are my feelings. She is really into emotional vulnerability and intimacy. I was reading the pursuit and distance thread in cadet's first response, specifically Cadets posting. I think she really fits the model of the Emotional Pursuer.
What do I do next? I think I maintain the detachment. How do I respond to her questions about my feelings? I feel like that converation has just taken us in circles when we have talked about that in the past...
