I agree with others here -- I don't think this has all that much to do with you quite frankly. I think your W was feeling bad about herself for gaining 50 pounds, then felt even worse about the miscarriages. It's no fun to feel bad about yourself, or to feel "not good enough". It's much easier to feed bad about someone else, or to have a lightning rod to offload your feelings of inadequacy, a target for your anger that is not you.
When you made the comment about her weight, I believe she viewed that as an "escape valve" to make you the bad guy so she could stop beating herself up. If you're "doing this to her" versus her having a shortcoming, then she can get mad at you and focus on you and how you've wronged her versus processing her own issues -- that's a MUCH easier thing to do.
If you agree that you may be a scapegoat here, then your best bet is not to play into it. If you apologize and chase her around, you're reinforcing that you've done something wrong.
If instead you take a "I'm sorry you feel that way" attitude, be happy and upbeat and live the best life you can live, you will refute her belief that you're the "bad one" and eventually the veil will have to lift.
Your best plan for getting her back is to make a beeline in the opposite direction. Be nice, be polite, but don't pursue her even a little bit, and don't apologize. Be "the best choice" by being happy and confident.
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
