25yearsmlc 10 Yrs Later I File D part 3

[25yearsmlc]

Online dating? I could not resist throowing in my two cents. I've tried it several times over the years and can only report it went from bad to worse. Perhaps it's me? I swear I've sent at least 50 emails over the time I tried - maybe 75? I rarely even got a response. If I did, I'd find someone claiming they want someone like me - naming interests, politics, age, wants, etc. then I'd get back "I don't think we are a match." I'd be like, huh?

well, from my "vast experience" I won't bother responding to a "flirt/wink", but if someone sends a message, AND assuming it's not a weird message, I'll answer.
But I can tell from the photos sometimes, (dark photo that just makes me feel creeped out, or a really goofy or odd expressions, or a guy sitting on a bale of hay with a straw in his mouth like Jethro, etc) that I won't feel any chemistry and I don't care how much we seem to have in common on paper.

How can I fit 10 of the 12 things on your list and not even be worth chatting with? Then to top it off, the few that did message me were so beyond anyone I'd even consider for two seconds. I'd be like, really??? This is what it's come to?

so some women messaged you and you were turned off b/c...? I mean, DonH, isn't that the exact same behavior?


Some would message for weeks amd then disappear.

I know I'm nervous about it so I can see this^^ happening b/c I'm not as ready as I hope. OR as much as I thought I was

and I noticed a few turns off for me too. A man I don't know at all, obviously, told me - without more, that he "wants more photos." (Oh, too bad. I don't owe you any). I never responded to his later messages. I just felt like he would be a jerk. Sometimes if they are super fit and show their body too much, I know it's not going to be pleasant b/c my h was a health nut and I've had enough of that. Constant weight checks and looking at whatever we are eating, etc.



I did meet a few but there was just no connection other than one who I would at least have gone out with a second time. She didn't even respond when I texted after the date.

for some reason DonH, this comes off as a "barely felt enough to have a second date" and I wonder if she got that vibe from you. How open are you to really doing the heavy lifting in a relationship? When you date, are you excited at all?

I'm not saying I am either, at least not yet. Just curious.

So, at least for me it's been worse than real life. I'm dumbfounded how people report long term Rs or even marriage with the first people they met online. Hopefully you'll do better than I have.

my own brother has been married for 15 years and they have a daughter, they met with Eharmony. In fact about 1/2 of my friends in their second marriages met online.

Trust me, I KNOW how crazy it sounds, but it's true.