I told very few people. But those closest to us know and aren't the least bit happy about it. My W told her best friend and his W right after the A started. They knew about it before I did and advised her to stop before she got caught. My W being stubborn clearly didn't follow their advice and got caught. This guy has been best friends with my W since they were 9 years old. Once he found out that my W had been spreading lies about me(she was telling him and his wife different stories about me). He called me up and filled me in on the details about the A that I didn't know about. And then they cut off contact with her all together. W wants to act as if that wasn't a big deal, but I could that she was seriously hurt by that. They were likely going to be her support system once she leaves me. And her behaviour cost her that.
I told a couple who are also close friends of ours. And they tried to have an intervention. They are religious and don't believe in BD. But after spending countless amounts of time trying to get through to my W, they're just disappointed in her. They haven't completely cut her off. But her lies to them as well has damaged that relationship. And they'll never be close with her again. They believe if you can do that to your H that you claim to love, then your capable of doing harm to anybody. Other than those people and myself. My W has nobody else in her life that she can be completely honest and open with. So this is why, I believe that she will try her hardest to have me as a best friend. But if the MR ends, then I refuse to be friends with someone who would kick their family to the curb to chase after another woman's H.
Other than that, I told two friends from work that I'm extremely cool with. But they have no interaction with my W. And then my parents and siblings know. Not sure how many people my W have told.
