Trying to stay above water

[resolut]

Still here and still DB Although it is SO hard. It goes against everything I want to do lol. I get the concept behind it. And I am starting with a beginners mind. He started talking about the past last night. Its hard. Because when I answer his questions, anything I may say he will take it against him and then say this conversation isn't going anywhere as usual. Then he says lets just say its all my fault and I'm being ridiculous. And he ends the conversation. So what do I do in this situation? I have told him over and over that I do not think this is all his fault. It took both of us to destroy this relationship. How do I deal with this? He is obviously still in his fog. Do I just ignore it? And carry on.

Hi Henwen, I'm sorry you are here but it sounds like you are doing many things right. Keep your focus on your own healing and not on what you H is doing.

Also, you are not to blame or responsible for his actions. Don't accept them. In my case I often have remind my wife that she chose to leave the M with her behavior and I am still in the marriage. I tell her that her actions are not ok but I believe in her and believe she knows what is right and can make correct d cisions if she chooses to do so.

Stay focused on you and discover your own possibilities from here on out. Be the person only a fool would pass up.