I wasn't criticizing. I was just wondering your thought process. Agree that it is good she came to you and you could listen and support her.
Hi Gordie, no worries, I didn't think you were criticizing.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
Originally Posted By: Kyh
Basically I'm glad she feels she can call me and isn't going to someone else for support. This is a long way from those awful email/text only days. I agree that it's progress. Pure and simple. LATER down the road, if you feel it's too hard for you to do, to always be there for her despite her antics, then you can set a boundary to help YOU with detachment.
But imo, there's no argument that Not spewing is better than spewing.
Whether that is enough to reconcile is NOT at issue now.
Although we all have our own version of our story I know what we had was real and we had good times and I'm not delusional. I know what you mean and I agree. We are not insane and the WAS is not that superb an actor. We also know we may never regain what we had, and that's too bad. But it does not make it all a sham.
She's looking to me instead of depressed mlc friend, a coworker, or boss who don't really know her or a OM looking for a good time. I think that is a good thing.
OF course it is. And any questions about what it means, beyond being an improvement over her spewing, are premature.
You don't need that certainty, do you? This is a marathon, not a sprint.
My only concern for you is that there is a sense you are "waiting" as your DB plan.
Which is not actually a plan. So maybe you can get back to a real GAL plan b/c waiting for her may keep spew away
but imo, it's not going to get her to respect, love and recommit to you. And it stalls you out waiting and wasting time.
She may never return, and you will have wasted time Not GAL
she may return too damaged, and not willing to Piece, and again, I worry you are not getting your life to a place where you are a whole person.
Marriages that are healthy, involve 2 complete individuals, who do not "need" the other to be complete.
Make sense?
Hi 25, yes that makes sense and you're right about me needing to work on my gal activities. I do things but it's always w/the kids.
