Sorry to hear that things haven't gone the way that you hoped. As for your W saying that you threatened and forced her to stay. She likely is lying to make herself feel justified in leaving. In my sitch my W made up lies about me. The good news is that her closest friends quickly knew they were lies and warned about them. As for you quitting DBing. I can honestly agree with your decision to do so. My philosophy is that I will fight for this marriage as long as your hear. But her leaving is considered abandonment to me, which means she should be 100% on her own. Glad to hear that your handling this quite well. I know that I would be freaking out on the inside.
