Oh yeah, life goes on...

[Sotto]

Thanks everyone....in a bit of a funk this weekend and so it's good to have the forum as a safe place to journal.

Things reached a tipping point for me at work this week. My boss - who is an old friend - really rates my skills, which is lovely. He has talked me into taking on a number of things at work, which have been pretty challenging. The things have been incremental, and so my role and hours have gradually grown. I have ended up having a central role in a number of areas I don't know much about, so that's been a steep learning curve. And the latest thing was I got this promotion, which meant being a line manager too..

This week a couple of things happened, and I just realised I have got myself on a path that doesn't really suit me. I came home and spent the night worrying about it all - slept really badly and just decided I have to tackle it. I emailed my boss to say we need to review things, and the management role (which I said I would have a go at) just isn't really what I want. I'm hoping we can manage to sort things out, but I feel anxious, upset with myself for being talked into doing too much, and worried about letting him down. All in all - vulnerable!

It's a shame, because things had been going so well in my life generally but I just feel the work grew and grew and I lost the balance. We'll just have to see what happens next week, but it has really unsettled me.

On a positive note, I did go out to a nice dancing event this weekend and had some fun. I was a little shy to approach the guy who has been so friendly in lessons, and he spent the evening chatting to various other women and didn't ask me to dance - oh well. Ugh - I just want life to feel a bit easier again. I'm sure I'll get there and it's just a little rocky phase...

Xxx