This used to be easier - and a lot more fun, cont.

[DonH]

Well Adinva, it has just sort of happened and evolved. I've known her for coming up on three years now (I think). She is 43, never married and no children. She has not really had a BF for as long as I've known her. We somewhat worked together for the first year or so but she has moved onto a different company. We are both very comfortable with each other. She is casual about it all and so things just happen very naturally. At least that's the case for me. We've stayed together in the same bed before without anything happening so it would not be a problem for both of us if we did a cruise together. We actually nearly did that a year ago with a cruise I ran but she could not get off of work since she was still pretty new in that job. She's done the FWB thing with others and seems fine with it. We are actually more friends than benefits.

So I don't know if I'm explaining things well or not. If you are asking, how did I make this happen - the answer would be, I didn't. It just sort of evolved. I wish I had more romantic feelings for her but they are just not there even though I love hanging out with her when we do. I guess it's possible that could develop if we spent more time together but sort of doubt it.

She may wish or want for more? I'm really not sure. She is the type of person who is pretty smart, reads people and then will try to do what they like - if that makes sense. So sometimes I'm not really positive of what she really thinks or feels - sometimes just more I sense she's doing or saying something because she knows I would agree or like it, etc. Does that make sense?

As for her, she claims she would like to be married one day, yet she does less dating than I do! I don't think she was able to have children even if she would have been married and now at 43 that's sort of off the table unless it happens really quickly. I just don't think that it will. We are both rather independent, like our space, etc. I've heard her talk about at least a few guys she's been involved with and actually doesn't have expectations with them and sort of rather keeps them at a bit of a distance.

For whatever reason, I really do think we could both go on the cruise, even interact much like a couple and still just continue to be good friends afterwards. I may be total wrong, but I don't think so - other than, like I said, I sort of sense she might hide her true feelings unless she thought I felt differently. All I can do is take her at her word and her actions. It's really up to her. We'll see if she reaches out and has me book this with her. The only potential down side would be either of us getting into a R in which case either I'd have to cancel or she'd have to say, Sorry, Don, I've got a BF so obviously he's going to have to go on the cruise with me - which I'd totally understand. Thing is, we've both been single all this time - the odds are not high that will change in the next 10 months.