Your x 25 is turning out to be like mine. In VA there is zero obligation for x's to pay for college and i've been told it's a tough sell if it goes to court. We pay for S19 through an account we had sellaved for kids college, not even enough to pay one year each but so far has covered the cost for S19 above the dinky amount of fed loans he qualified for. Then he'LL have to get private loans. Your D can get private loans? Suxx but what can you do.
I suspect that letter and the not-paying is a jab at you for requesting support. When ppl do bad things they sometimes lash out at their victim, weird but normal, somehow lets him feel justified.
Never tell kids their Dad doesn't love them. Not for you to say. Listen to and sympathize with their feelings and encourage them to express those feelings to their dad when they feel ready to. It's between them and their dad and not good for you to try to interpret him to them.
(These are just conclusions I reached facing similar H issues)
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
