25yearsmlc 10 Yrs Later I File D part 3

[25yearsmlc]

I'm sorry to hear your H decided not to fund the tuition. I suspect contacting him to try and resolve it wouldn't be productive. However, securing it in the divorce settlement may be an option perhaps?

Definitely not productive to reach out though God knows I am sorely tempted...

It will somehow be addressed in the divorce. MY L's first reaction was that "in effect, 25 would then be paying, which is BS" and I agree.

H knows it's my achilles heel. Sotto, the most striking piece of this TO ME, is that by doing this, h is burning some bridges, isn't he?

Does he either not care about his R's with the kids, or believes they'll all improve eventually, or if they don't, then it's MY fault or theirs and he can just keep hiding...

or stick around his new fan base who can admire him? BTW if he's not working at all, which I don't believe, but IF...then how great a catch is a retired MD who has no R's with his kids?

It would very much strike me as odd if I were an OW or her kids...


From all that you've posted, he seems to have the mindset of - I've been supporting others financially for years and now I'm going to have some 'me' time and avoid paying any more than I absolutely have to.

Oh yes,^^^ his letter is filled with a self serving list of HIS contributions. (never "ours" but always just HIS). He expects that since he is SO HAPPY everyone else should be happy FOR HIM. And his delightful "retirement with OW..."

The health insurance almost made me laugh. He HAS to cover d. (And me, btw. We were a military family so it comes with the deal.) But he listed that as something and it's not relevant to her tuition so...why mention it?

Yes I know. To pat himself on the back and reassure himself that he's a good dad. But my kids say he's "officially abandoning" d19. I sometimes wish they would not be so blunt b/c I feel very sad for d19. A bff of mine said "but if h does not love them, why not say it?"

1) I cannot believe he has no love for d19 and or our other children.

2) even if I were convinced of that (and sadly, it's possible he does not like d19 much, as she is VERY different from him and very honest with him

I would still not believe I should ever tell her that.

Am I wrong?



I suspect once your settlement is agreed, he may begin working again...

um, yeah...he may take a month or two to admit it but IF IF IF he's not working now, (hard hard to believe for all who know him and it would be literally the ONLY time he's not working in the 38 years I've known him)

but if I were a betting woman, I'd bet that he will openly then work and invite the kids to see him at his expense, and feel good about how everyone has gotten past the... "unpleasantness"...

I'm not familiar with the law over there, but I would certainly run it by your L for an opinion? Hope you have a nice weekend. Xx

I did email my L. I know my d19 is very stressed with the court stuff and now, this.

I'll have a good weekend. I am going to GET OUT OF MY CONDO and I will enjoy the holiday.

Thank you.

((( )))