To my knowledge, no one has ever reconciled "too slowly". Many have done so, too fast. Or too superficially.
In my case, we did not do the piecing enough. Looking back, I so wish my h had gotten the IC he needed to explore why he made the choices he made. What his underlying issues were/are. Because they are haunting him and our family, now.
Back then, H was selfish and at times quite deceitful. I didn't fully see all of that, b/c I could not believe it. I NOW see that he did not learn what I assumed he had from our sep.
If he had gotten IC then, he'd have either learned really valuable life changing lessons and we'd be celebrating our 36th anniversary, and hanging out with our grown children, watching our son's R develop into a marriage of his own, and see our d19 in college...
or I'd have ended things a decade earlier, in which case I'd probably be in a healthy R with a new man now. And my kids could see that instead of this ugly divorce.
(I'm "here now", and I'll be fine. )
Just urging you to use this ordeal as a tool for a whole new fuller, more deeply rewarding life.
Don't skim over the inward journey to rush back into your comfort zone.
Because we both know our comfort zones were not as safe as we hoped.
This really is an opportunity for you. You know what to do.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
