Hmmmm...... I think love is how we personally perceive it. I believe love is a feeling and an action. Love is an emotion. The love emotion is generated by how someone treats you and acts towards you. You FEEL it I believe. Then the partner wants to act on that love emotion by choosing to actively love that other person. By showing loving gestures that generate that emotion of love.
Someone actively does something to hurt you, you FEEL hurt. When someone behaves in a way to actively love you, you FEEL love.
Then love becomes somewhat unconditional at times when you are in a long term romantic partnership. Your partner may not be showing you love all the time, but you know that they love you when they apologize, or try to work on the situation that may have brought feelings of hurt.
Do we have control of our emotions? Popular opinion says "yes" I say no. We are humans, not robots and there is brain chemistry that produces emotions and we often have no control over those emotions and chemical reactions. We do chose how to react to those emotions though.
