No, no and no. It is not true that we do not have control over anything. We have almost perfect control over ourselves and our actions. We have choices in life that we can and should make. There is an old saying that if we choose not to choose than we have chosen.
And yes, love has to be nurtured, or let me clarify, there are 2 kinds of love, an unconditional one and a conditional one. An unconditional love is the love that we feel for our children and also the one that most of us feel for our parents. The conditional kind is a peculiar beast. Sometimes we love people that are no good for us. A dangerous kind of love is the one that is formed from need. When we are needy, we compromise ourselves just to have someone in our lives who "loves" us and to whome we can give our love to. Sometimes we feel (an intuition) that something is wrong but we choose not to listen to our intuition and dive in head-on, only to pay the price later. Sometimes when we subconsciously feel that something is wrong with the relationship we act in a manner that sabotages the relationship. Everything is clear in hindsight...
