we mostly tend to make the idea/fear of Div a total nightmare (and God knows I'm in a $hit$torm at the moment) without any upside,
but we forget that staying together can have huge costs too. Not just to us!
My kids have been lovingly & brutally honest with me about the costs to THEM, of our staying together.
I thought I was staying married in large part FOR THEM...and in large part, that was true. But that does not make me right.
A woman there said something that has nagged at me all day.
The woman said she has 2 friends ("OW" and "OM") from her firm, who are having an A and confessed it to her. She says they both said they are leaving their families for each other. Both have kids.
This woman said she ENVIES this cheating couple b/c "they will have soft landings and THEY have such a deep love" that each is willing to lose their children for the other.
I'm flabbergasted. The cliches about how miserable they will be "someday" and their guilt, their shame haunting them, etc
all sound a little hollow to me at the moment. Let's admit it, some couples who are both cheaters, seem just fine down the road, don't they? I know it's very unfair. But so is my friend with cancer and another friend who lost a child to an unknown weird heart defect.
That's unfair too, yet it happens.
Thoughts?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
