you may get the chance, in time. The "math" of it is - Small consistent changes + sufficient time = change she can believe in.
I can only hope. But I feel like hope is making me sick.
She knows she will need to find a job if we are divorced. And we will need to sell our townhouse. She talked about not doing this till the end of the summer to minimize changes for our son who is 15 months old. I don't know how doing this at the end of summer minimizes anything, but it gives me some time.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
Have you and or your w ever seen a sex therapist?
The marriage counselor we are seeing is also a sex therapist. Sex was the main topic in our first sessions. I fear it's the thing that she won't be able to change her mind on. My wife is more experienced than me sexually and I don't know if she will get in a mindset to work on briding our gap ever again. The thing is that as I am feeling better and better while dealing with my depression, my sexual desire is growing and growing, and it's driving me nuts.
Originally Posted By: 25yearsmlc
Also, fwiw, I think there is something going on with your wife that has nothing to do with any OM.
I think there are several things going on. One thing I have come to realize is that I don't think my wife has felt secure in our relationship as she has been in charge and I have been allowing her to make all the decisions in my passive ways. I see this so clearly now. I see how much healthier it would be for me to take the lead. However, my wife's parents when through a nasty divorce and she never felt secure as a child. A coping mechanism of hers is to take charge of a situation, and make decisions which is somewhat counter to what she wants from me. So ultimately I just need to be more present and involved.
