Who's fault is this again? Can I forgive her?

[Irish M]

I tend to think the MLCer follows the script of their parents
especially if parents did the same

unless they get serious help and stick to it
BUT
I think many of them get some help but can't break the MLC cycle

I know its a fact.. I actually have a friend of mine going through this. When he told me his story he had no clue about his W's past with her mom.. guess what.. same replay and she even says she realizes there is something wrong with her but needs to do what she is about to do.

My point is, people can change and remain changed. I worry about the assumption that the term "MLC" means the MLCer person will return to who they were before.

I agree.. they will never be the same. My Xw has lived a new life and new experiences for the past 21 months. How could she just wake up and be the same as before. She will be an entirely new person, hopefully with the good of what she was and the maturity of getting through MLC. Th lying, stealing, drinking , drugs, disrespectful, manic, egomaniac, self centered horrible mother and wife... I hope she loses those traits. lol

You want your w to tell your girls that she left them for OM. Why? That's horrible (even it is were true).

The girls know she left them for him. she had said it when she told them she didn't want to be a mother. A month after leaving the home to get her own apartment. She abandoned that place ( where she was supposed to have joint custody) to go live with om ion another town. So the girls a well aware. The girls are just tired of her telling everyone that it is they who abandoned her since she left me. The stumbled upon OM facebook well before I did. Saw the tattoo they got together on each others writes to mark the date they met. A date a month before BD.

XW says shes apologized to me and the girls. All we got was a sorry. no details. An empty sorry.

what the heck is a waling giant?

Sorry * Walking * giants . These are huge walking giants ( puppets) larger than life. They had them walking around the city streets. It was amazing.

small update..

I enjoyed my 6 days off. Crazy the amount of things you can accomplish when everyone around you is working and you find yourself alone. With the exception of the Thursday and Tuesday when the girls were in school. I was alone. It was nice.

The other days I spent with the girls doing several activities around town.
I celebrated my 48th birthday. It was amazing as well. Last year there was an empty feeling.. This year I am at peace.

Sadly I always have someone that mentions XW. This time it was my buddy who is going through the same thing. His MLCr a clinger. Listening to him talk it reminds me on how similar they all are. Same games. lies.. thinking they are getting away with it all. even telling him that he is her backup plan. I help him where I can but I see he has to go through the stages all LBS do. Cant cut corners and I cant get him to the finish line without those important steps.

Anyway. His soon to be XW and mine use to be acquaintances. Not really friends. Never called on each other. My XW deleted everyone I know and she knew on her FB. All new friends. Since then she added some family members of hers. Well she added my friends soon to be XW.

Well my buddy calls me up.. guess who's talking . I say no clue. then he fills me in. Even says that his soon to be XW finds my XW off.. never mentions the girls once.. only talks about how cheap her rent is and the freedom she has.

This is the same script she threw at me when she left for he other town. To live in the crappies part of that town in the basement with OM. So its clear she is still very far gone and priorities are her freedom.

besides that back to work today and enjoying the warm weather.