First time here, part 3

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks for the comments! I's still kind of reeling from the step I believe that I took today, It was a boundary, maybe not stated, but you know them when you see them, you know?
And I held firm.
Maybe you have to get to a place where you realize you can't control any of this, there's a reason for this, or it just life handing you a 6 of hearts when you're holding the other 3 sixes, then you wake up and it was a dream.

I don't want to ignore the heart part of this sitch, but honestly, I am being as honest as I know how- I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. HE IS FREE, I AM FREE. I can re-invent myself here in this house and town and state, and what I do from here is my decision.

I call this^^ a momentary sampling of Detachment. Try to remember it when it slips away...


Please don't ignore my post because you think I have one up on you.... this is, in some ways, harder than it's ever been. And I need you, 25, and Sara, and Cadence, and Own, and Tryin...... my go-to places when all else seems lost.

okay since I'm - legally- married to a DOCTOR (and feel I must put that in all caps b/c it's SO important...)

I'm quite fatigued by the "work commitments". Are you serious? Forget it. No thanks, been there, done that. And raised 3 kids pretty much as a single mother.

If/WHEN your m is the priority it always should have been, he can visit.

If it were me, I'd be making my plans as if he's in Antartica and IF IF IF he really makes plans and follows thru, deal with it then.

I would not suggest another specific date but blow it off like "well, maybe someday our paths will cross but meanwhile, have a great summer. Buh BYE"

because frankly, if he cannot MAKE this happen, now, then truly, why bother?
It's just delaying your forward movement with more limbo.

He lacks clarity and his priorities are still skewed. You are STILL not the priority. OMG

Would you date and then get into a serious r with a man who openly shows that you are not "THE" priority in his life but maybe...someday...later...when northing more interesting is happening?...(which is the very type of man to be tempted to wander when times get tough, and life always gives us tough times eventually).

You need and deserve a man who has your back, including making the marital R the main priority in his life. Particularly when it needs to heal from the damage HE inflicted.... OMG (again!)

If he cannot MAKE the effort your m so richly deserves, now, how on earth could you two do the really really hard part of this, known as piecing? Excuse me but what is he offering to you?


Knowing what I know now, (and sorry if I'm overly projecting)

I'd let him do the heavy lifting for a long time, before I'd go all in.


Sorry...