WW with affair moved out 4+ weeks ago

[15Stang]

Well....
It's official. I am divorced. My attorney sent me the paperwork they received and the divorce was finalized on 5.23.17.

Not sure what to think about it.... Part of me wants to cry, another part feels numb, and the bigger part is hopeful for the future.

Just some quick thoughts.
-3.5 months is what it took to go from what I thought was a good marriage to divorce- Crazy.
-The legal system stinks- I had zero leverage in this divorce. I'm just glad I don't have to pay spousal support. To me when one spouse has an affair or is currently in an affair they should forfeit some of their rights. Right now there are zero consequences for my ExW.
-The last three years have been valuable to me and my growth but my marriage didn't make it.
-I've learned a lot from the people hear. Just reading and the advise that has been given.
-I wish I would have acted differently when the affair came out 3 years ago. I should have been strong... instead I was weak. -Sandi2's posts on WW describes my wife to a T. I had no idea the kind of person I was dealing with. There is a part of me that thinks this whole situation has played out exactly like my ExW wanted it too. If she would have divorced me 3 years ago she would have walked away with almost nothing or possibly debt. Today she walks away with $55,000+.
-I will be better off by myself (or someone else) than being with the person I've been with for the past 4 years. Affairs ruin marriages (most of the time). I was hoping to overcome but it takes 2 and in this marriage there was only 1 wanting to truly do the work. Feelings are powerful and making choices based on emotions usually doesn't work out well in the long run.
-My marriage was good for the most of the 13 years I was married. Really good. I have a lot of great memories. Even if those memories were a pretend normal as I wasn't aware of the deception around me.
-Pain that is not transformed WILL BE transmitted. I see this in myself and it is what I have worked hard on the last 3 years. I also see it in my ex and her AP/OM.
-I have to give up hope of ever having a better past. I can't change it.
-I will survive and I will thrive.
-I will be a great spouse to someone....someday
-I will be better able to choose a spouse that is healthier due to the experiences I've had to go through.
-Depending on what happens in the future I may actually be able to have a child of my own.

Thanks all for the help. I'll be around reading and helping where I can. I don't like that I'm divorced and I'm not happy about it. But I'm content with my current life... for the most part. Things will get better.
Eric