What's up everybody. I stumbled onto this site during a google search and have looked around. I ordered 2 books, DB and DR, and am waiting delivery. I was curious to see if anyone has experienced what I have been going through.
A little back story: My wife and I have been separated for about 6 weeks with my wife wanting a divorce. I had kept a ebay business I started from her. She found out, I owned up. No the first time we have been through something along those lines. I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 year ago and have had a rough time accepting the diagnosis. I went off my meds a few times during the past year which have led to conflicts with my wife.
Before that we had a relatively good marriage, probably not as good as I thought looking back. We showed love for each other in ways which the other person did not prefer (ie 5 Love languages). She had probably started to check out awhile before I had any clue anything was wrong.
We did go to marriage counseling for 2 months but it honestly felt like it was my own personal therapy session with my wife sitting next to me. I never felt we had a chance to work on things together. My wife shares the same thoughts except blames me for dominating the sessions. I never wanted to be featured but thats how it went.
Anyways, I'm very confused on how our separation has progressed. I feel I have started to work on myself and am starting to notice some changes especially in regards to listening and communication. I feel we are communicating better now than we have in a long time.We talk to each other daily by phone, text, and in person. We have two young children so I am over the house frequently. In fact, the only thing I feel has changed is where I sleep. We are still having sex, although not as frequently. In some instances, it was much more passionate. We have been going out together once per week (which is more frequently than when we were married.) we both agree we still love each other.
I receive a lot of mixed messages. Initially, it drove me nuts. I looked at each encounter separately and would extrapolate it to our future relationship. I've since stopped for my own health. I try not to mention our relationship. It seems to bring her to a place of anger and she always says she wants a divorce. Other times she will speak of the future with me in it, like getting a new house together. Are these just mind games? I do feel she tests me to see if I'll quit or back down. I'm not really sure what to believe or think.
We are still going to counseling. We have had one session since we were separated. My wife mentioned being angry with me because she feels the changes I am making, but said it was too late. I really want to do all I can to keep our family together. I just don't know left from right at this point.
