You guys aren't going to beleive this 5

[25yearsmlc]

[quote=Thornton]I've been thinking about this all morning long.

It's funny because when she was crying, I was thinking to myself what her real intentions were. In the past, I would have automatically assumed it was because she loved me.

But as real as her tears were, I was still hesitant in believing everything at face value. I still am.

I really don't know what her intentions are. She keeps talking about a future together and I am remaining completely neutral when she asks me about it. I just tell her I can only focus on today.

I can't distinguish if she is having real regret, or if she is simply setting me up to be a backup plan.

I think you know the answer to ^^this, and it really hurts to admit it. -

At at minimum, your gf clearly wants you as a back up plan and her tears were for the fear she has that she might Later regret leaving - but she is still leaving.

That's what she is DOING and whatever else happens, the leaving is what matters.

My self esteem has taken a beating in the last few months so I'm having a hard time trusting my feelings/instincts about things.

she knows this^^^


The good news is that I'm aware of my pattern now ^^^. I dont know how to remedy it, but I know my thoughts/actions are being driven by my emotions. I need to step back and think about this objectively.

I really suck at this.


I don't think you suck at this. I think the revelations you have had are among the hardest. When people tell me that my h is a narcissist or a lying cheat, it doesn't really make me feel good at all.

Makes me feel like "what's wrong with ME that I'd choose/be with h?" We also want to believe the best of our partners b/c we love them.

When we are faced with the brutal reality that we are & have been badly treated, it stings even more.

Because a part of us knows that now, seeing them more clearly, makes it so much LESS likely that we will ever reconcile. Because now we see the truth.


Sometimes the best way to "win" at this poker game is to fold, cut losses and play somewhere else OR walk away from the table and see what else life offers.

If your gf has a spectacular awakening, & wants to have a healthy r, and if you are ready to do the same, THEN you can cross that bridge.

You can hope for that at this point, but don't expect it.