Yes the word smothering. He has used that once. Just after he left. He said he felt smothered. I guess bottom line is if I feel if I let go then he will never come back. But in the end. I don't really want him back unless he WANTS to come back and wants to do the work involved to make this M work. So I see your point. I guess I'm scared. What if he likes it out there on his own? But like DR says, I can't change his course. And I can see in myself how unhealthy it is to be stuck where I am at. And he has said he still sees me as an argumentative person. So detaching will help. I did go to work today and I did not ask how his long weekend went. Or tell him what I did. That was new behaviour for me. I normally ask and then fill him in on what I did. Today I just kept quiet.
I really appreciate all this help. These are new waters I am. Not ones I like. But ones I am learning to navigate. So thank you!
