Leaving it up to God (but still interfering!)

[Sotto]

I think the way to think about this is - am I trying to control this situation with my behaviour? Any time you find yourself thinking - will this help him move forward - do X - do Y etc...step right back!!

That's all just trying to manipulate the situation to try and achieve the outcome we want - him turning back to you and the marriage...

Actually, the thing to do is just let go and let him be. I think you are setting off on the loop you were on before, where you saw more of him and were unsettled. Found it hard to stem the pursuit..

That's JMHO of course - but this may be such a long haul, I would encourage you to let go and live your life. Truly, if he chooses to turn back, he'll let you know. And I don't believe there is much you can do to control the situation other than live your life in the way you want to live. Looking back now, I am happy that I was reasonably kind and graceful, that I stood firm on finances and stood up for my own interests..the rest doesn't seem to matter much now.

Xx