Heading to counseling today. Just finished reading Sandi's reflections and wondering how much can be applied to a WH. Man is he wayward.
well yes. Unfortunately your h has always cheated. (Ouch). And he Tells you about OW and how he "really loves" her...so cheating is a given with him. I mean, why wouldn't it be?
I have really been spending a lot of time thinking. I realize that in a lot of ways, he does not seem good for me and the children. other than financial reasons, how is he good for you or the kids? I'm sincerely asking. Not trying to rub salt in your wounds.
But its hard to come to a place where I agree the marriage should end and our lives completely change. Can you see any changes that you would like to make?
The kids would no longer be homeschooled, their mother would work all the time, interesting take on what would happen in a divorce. Maybe you'd get enough CS and could work part time or have family nearby to help or get decent childcare that actually adds to your kids' positives.
When I found a good childcare provider, I KEPT Her as long as possible and came to see her as an additional source of positive affirmation in my kids lives. They remain in touch with her, decades later. Like she's a grandma figure and totally unconditionally loves them.
Plus maybe your kids would see an empowered mother...
and their daddy would be off doing who knows what (believe it or not, he's more grounded when he's in the home with us. His actions are insane when he's left to his own devices). So you think he'd stay at home, improve and not leave again?
I guess my head gets cloudy with grief when I think about all this.
I understand this ^^ quite well. It can feel overwhelming. And it can be!
(I have been m 2/3 of my life).
So we divide it into manageable pieces and take one day at a time. Do one task.
Send in resumes for part time work or work we'd like. Get some IC. Figure out where your baggage comes from and where it belongs (we all have some).
Good for you getting T , btw.
Maybe see a L just for information not necessarily to retain. Knowledge is power.
Less feeling of being "trapped".
And keep posting.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
