Trying to stay above water

[LiM]

How many people are actually successful at reconciling??

That's a hard question to answer Henwen because so much of what happens depends on choices your S makes regardless of what you do. The goal of DB is to focus on YOU and to get you to a place where you are ok and even better than you were before all of this started regardless of what your S does. By doing the things recommend in the books and on this forum, you will ensure that you are taking care of yourself and stacking the cards in your favor to save the M but at the end of the day, you cannot control your S. They are free to choose whatever path they want. The sooner you come to realize that and let them go, the sooner you can get to a place where saving the M becomes a possibility.