Telling and making are 2 different things. You can tell anyone anything you want.
You couldn't have made GF stay. You could have TOLD her to, but it would have been her CHOICE to, although not for the right reasons.
You TOLD your wife to promise to get help. It was her CHOICE to say she would. You didn't make her promise.
Letting control go is not easy. We all want to control situations for the best outcome.
Us humans, however, in most circumstances have free will.
And who knows, maybe one day down the line, you and GF will meet again when the time is right and it will be free will to be together. you really never know.
