I am going to have to agree with blu here. Some posters don't like me much because I come from back in the day where we didn't all validate and hug it out all the time. I come from a time on this board where tough love was given because it was what was going to make the difference. Let me tell you, I was a trainwreck. I won't get into the nitty gritty details, but I was anti-DB crazy. And I got HAMMERED with 2x4's. And boy and I thankful. Some of those who hammered me are close IRL friends now. I realize now they saved me. And my D.
I don't think he is cake eating by wanting to meet you for lunch. I think he is simply trying to keep things conflict avoidant and civil and he knows this is what you are seeking right now. You temp checked for it, and you got it. There is a chance he may be scared to just spend time with D alone for fear you will feel rejected and get upset.
You still have a little string attached. And you claim he is not being him. But how is keeping that little bit of attachement going to make him become him again?
Let him truly come to you. Stop temp checking him and baiting him into lunch invites. let him do them on his free will. It's hard as heck to do, but I know you can do it.
