Is it Midlife Crisis, Walkaway Spouse or the End?

[25yearsmlc]

upon further reading i recognize i'm not merely a submissive nice guy, but rather I was with several of her key love languages, too reserved in giving compliments, i often recognize it tougher to do as they appeared in genuine unintentionally, likely because they were not specific enough or said in a more sincere tone.

I'm not clear what this^^^ means. You didn't compliment her much, or sincerely or specifically, or?? So one of her love languages is words of affirmation, yes? This is a relatively easy one to speak in. Be authentic and expressive. And yes, specific.

The taste of the meal she cooked, the time she put into it, how she looks well put together in an outfit, and that she has a good eye for it, you're proud that she's on your arm at a gathering b/c she's so socially skilled, warm, or that she's still beautiful and sexy, sparkly eyes, etc.


Similarly i should have been much stronger in managing finances despite her lack of desire for budgeting, favouring whimsy. as things likely built against us,

okay so here^^ you mention a flaw of yours, in what might be a feigned attempt to "own" something, but then you immediately blame her more...

Avoid the scorecard as much as possible. Because they are destructive and because your w has her own, and on HER scorecard you are not winning. WE all have our own scorecards and we measure things very differently.
Interesting...

So, do you manage money well or not? Are you the breadwinner and providing well, or what?

Does she spend wildly & irresponsibly, or in small but fun amounts (in other words, are you carping about her buying flowers for the home, or a new car?)


she dismissed any compliments but would criticize my lack in making them,
which inadvertently stopped me trying.


so it's still her fault you did not give her words of affirmation?? (How is that "inadvertent? It sound intentional)


Can you list 2 things that you need to work on, without then defending yourself?
It's okay we are all human.

But That's where I'd start. Nothing about HER. Just you. Keep it simple.

Make sense?