Thanks Don! You have good insight. I used to hang out with this friend years ago and was aware that he paid me a lot of attention although I was dating my H and/or newlywed. So nothing was going to happen back then. I think the assumption that we know each other well led at least me to think I could skip over the coffee date part. I would have liked to see him casually right away but instead we spoke on the phone and texted for many hours before scheduling a whole evening date. You're right on target about what happened.
I'm also inclined to neither ghost him nor continue hours long convos until I have a better handle on how to communicate where I'm at in a nonhurtful way. So I'm responding, just trying to keep it more casual than the first couple days.
All this has only been a week, and only 2 days since meeting in person, so i'm just trying to get my head straight. It was just too much (imagining) too soon. We still have plans to get together next weekend and I should probably have that conversation then or before then.
He was a very dear friend long ago so I want to be careful and fair to him.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
