Another issue with my marriage that I haven't addressed here yet, and it was probably because of shame is that our sexual intimacy has been lacking for many months. When my wife had her post partum breakdown to me, she asked me to initiate more, be more aggressive sexually and take the lead. Once I started working on this she shut down on me. For a period she stopped saying "I love you", showed no affection, and barely showed that she loved me in anyway. She eventually told me that she was dealing with issues related to a sexual assault from years ago that were triggered by child birth and asked if we took sex off the table for a time. Which we did. After several months, we talked about starting to have sex again and that is when everything that was going good, quickly turned bad. She told me she had no desire to have sex with me. And she told me that because of her assault, she wasn't capable of trying because it felt like a forced situation where she wasn't in control. And a few weeks after this is when she asked me to move out.
