Divorced by 2016

[DonH]

Adinva, I don't think I've posted to you before but do seem to find a lot of women like you in the dating world - or at least I did when I was more active. I remember meeting women online that would tell me how they were planning a first date with someone in a few days to weeks and didn't want to talk to anyone else. I'd be like ??????? It was almost as though they were so desperate for someone or at least all in that even before a first date they were willing to cast off any others. It almost seems like that's where you were. Very excited, wanting a lot right away so you did a bunch of texting, talking, communicating with someone you've not even gone on a date with yet. You created who you hoped he would be in your mind. Then when he was not that... Did he even have a chance? Who could live up to what someone creates in their mind?

Dating takes time. Taking it one step at a time, slowly is often your best bet. He doesn't seem to be doing that either? You don't owe him anything you know? If you are feeling apprehensive tell him that. Sure you can be quiet or not reciprocate or ghost him but would it not be better to just say, "Look, all of this is very new to me. You seem to be wanting much more than I am and I just wanted to be straightforward with you. I'd enjoy going out and seeing where it goes, but right now, I'm just looking to meet people and slowly get back out there." If he knew that, would that reduce your apprehension? If so, that's what you need to do. Then, take some deep breaths and a few steps back. You don't owe this guy or any guy anything. Take the time to get to know them. Plus, one thing I've really found to be true is I can't tell very well at all how I'll fit with someone until we meet in person. I can often tell in person after only a few minutes. Not at all the case on the phone or text or email. There is nothing at all wrong with a quick meet and greet. Have coffee or a drink. Limit it to no more than an hour. If the chemistry is there, you'll both be looking forward to going on a real date. Had you done that here, had you even gone on the real date?

Just some thoughts and suggestions that I hope might help.