A WW? (8)

[DonH]

I'm so sorry to hear this LT. I do have to say again, however, that your best chance at saving this is to back off and just let her be. This is what she wants. Sometimes people need to be careful about what they hope for as they just might get it. That is your W.

True to form, however, she seems to think she is in control of all of this. I would not suggest going against any specifics just to go against them. However, if it's not what is best for you and D, you DO NOT HAVE TO DO IT. For example, she wants D to chose where she stays? Absolutely not. Have input, perhaps, but let a 9 year old decide adult things? No flipping way! I'd start with 50/50 and go from there. This does not go the way W wants it to just because she wants it to!

Who is going to pay for her apartment? Does she expect you to do that? Again, I'd go to court and get a temporary decree put in place. They will not force you to pay for 100% of HER apartment. That's not how it goes. If she wants out and wants on her own, she completely gets to make that decision. However, she cannot force you to pay for it so please don't!

In her "perfect world" she wants to decide and control everything. It's who she is. I mean, C'mon, a doctors office is "too small" for two parents? BS. That's just not the case and in fact many times it is both parents who attend. She doesn't get to control this - unless you let her.

As for her "being over the anger" again - BS. Did she take a magic pill or something? What happened to her living this way until D is 18? Remember that? It was only a few months ago that's what she had "decided" Now she decides something else and you should just go with it. Again, only if you think it is best.

Several here told you that they thought W would pull this - and they were right. This crap that "it just worked out that way" is just that - crap. This was her plan. You have to get back in the driver's seat here and put your man pants back on. Do what you think is best. Get the courts involved if you have to but DO NOT allow her to run the show while you pay for the tickets! That's what she wants. She will get an apartment, keep D, call all the shots and maybe sometime later think about getting a job???? NO FLIPPING WAY DUDE. NO WAY! Please take back your control here. Again she has asked for this. Give her what she wants and she may well not want it anymore. Plus, you'll be DBing like you should!