I just wanted to say I am so sorry for the depression you are going through. I know how much it stinks. But right now I think you are reeling over the shock of something. It's like a betrayal all over again. But I know you will get through this.
I would continue perhaps with the alanon meetings. Just to help understand you are aren't alone. I always thought about going to one and I never did.
I know the temptation of all the research. I know you are looking for something, anything, to give you comfort. But I think the best place to find it might be in those who have gone something similar.
I'm thinking of you and praying for you (to some god or another:)
