Cut yourself some slack! I know many people in their 40's who have gotten overly drunk many times. It happens.
I don't think any of us go into marriage thinking about blending families, schedules, dating, living arrangements, single parenting.....thinking about it could be scary as heck. I think it may have taken me until my D was 3 to realize this was the reality of my life. that's essentially 3 years from BD. Then I just said, "well, this is my life, lets see where this goes" As you know, it's been a bumpy ride in the romantic department.
Passion I think is a different meaning to everyone. I have a friend who has a loving husband but she is separated because she is looking for some sort of "passion" Passion to me is the comfort of being with the one you love. Conversation, being somewhat in sync, laughing together, all drives my passion. Knowing someone is there, being each others support and motivation and encouragement in life. Builds passion in me. This builds sexual attraction for me.
We are all different. And we all may question the situation we are in and why we are in it. And one day may feel one way about something and feel differently the very next.
