Firstly your own needs are put aside. That is not healthy in the long run. I urge you to look after all your other needs. I struggle at times knowing I deserve better and I am sure if needs be there is another good woman out there somewhere. You do deserve better too. I am sure that one day you will be treated as you deserve. Until then look after yourself.
If foreveryoung dropped by he would quote Michelle about letting your spouse know before you are triple done. I believe this to be true. In our situations where the WAS doesn't leave, and a lot of time passes I think a time eventually comes where the lbs has had enough. You have proven you can support your situation but one day you may chose not to.
Maybe a simple declaration about this is appropriate in your case. But I believe it is best if it is not used as a "tactic". By this I mean not to try change H's mind but emphasise your own. Maybe it could be the prod H needs to make a real shift.
Plus in your case what is the worst that can happen? # H sulks and hides in his room # H leaves You can live with both of those reactions. Maybe he will write to you though!!
Joking aside I don't think such a statement will risk a lot in your situation. But you may feel better having expressed it.
I am glad you can discuss this with S13. He sounds like a good lad.I am sorry things are more sensitivefor your younger son. That must make things harder for you, as it makes separating a worse option.
I am sorry you went through this as a child. I am glad you felt you were loved regardless.
I may not post much on my thread but I share many of your thoughts and struggles.Best wishes my friend
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
