180man Thread 4

[180Man]

Going to try to keep this short, but first let me thank you for the responses above, it really motivated me. Seriously.

I really turned a corner a couple weeks ago. I am done with this. If W comes around a year from now I may consider it, but that's it. I have spent the last six-plus months of my life trying to become a better man, trying to save my marriage. I can't do it anymore. I can't live in ambiguity any longer. This is not to say that I will give up all of the things I've worked for -- hell no! I'm going to keep improving and stay connected to myself. But I am finally, I think, where you all have been trying to push to to all these months -- disconnected and disengaged. Her path is her own to follow and I wish her the best of luck. I have to go my own way now.

I told my lawyer to ask her lawyer to ask STBXW to have a POD storage unit dropped at the house. She did so. She also sent me an email expressing surprise that we were no longer talking. Really? YGTBFSM.

I have spent all weekend packing this POD up. It sùcks. But I would rather do this crap all by myself than have to see her here at the house trying to pick through her crap. Besides, this way I can give her HER stuff PLUS OUR stuff. I don't want any of our stuff. I am keeping the couch and a table and I'm even hesitating about that. I really want nothing that reminds me of the last eight years of my life with her. I am emotionally spent when it comes to my STBXW. Spent. Done. All that will be left is to come to a settlement. She says she isn't looking to screw me over, I hope she is sincere about that. Money wise it's a non-issue since we're the same rank and make the same amount of money -- but she could make it difficult for me to keep the house if she starts asking for half of what it's worth instead of half the equity. Happy to give her half the equity...but just because the stupid housing market around here shot up in the last couple years shouldn't mean she should be able to screw me. Ugh. We'll see...

I am going to work in the morning and plan to stop by and invite the JAG to coffee. I'm ready to move on and find someone who values me -- though I am not in a rush so I will take things slow. It may only be a temporary distraction, which is fine, but if it goes anywhere that'll be a new adventure I'm willing to start.

Thanks for everyone's support here. I'll keep checking in now and then for sure. Who knows, maybe I'll relapse and be back here tomorrow a sobbing mess!! Haha, God I hope not!