So here's the thing....

[NDY]

Before I begin, Job I'm sorry I'm on a tablet and can't find my old thread. It's in the dim and distant past on newcomers.

It's been a while since I started a thread here. But today I thought I would.

For those interested my story is this.

I'm now D'd. Have been for a while now. It's ok. I have my man cave and S11 and I get to spend a lot of time together. When we do it's a blast. I feel like I have it together but we all have that little bit of doubt. Or is that just me?

Anyway a bit of backstory for those who are interested.

ExW and I had been together nearly 20 years, married for nearly 15 of those. After the BD I came here hoping for salvation. I found it, just not in the flavour I was expecting.
When I first came the lovely 25yearmlc tried to help. She pressed me on what I did wrong in my r but I just couldn't see it. We weren't a perfect couple but we were by no means a toxic couple. We were friends, still intimate and still lovers even after all that time. But she went wild.

In 2013 two things happened. My ExW turned 40, and FIL committed suicide. She was the perfect storm. That Christmas was lovely but by the March her Emotional affair started and my the May it was physical. By November it was over. By the February she was pregnant with OM's baby (now boyfriend). That's why I'm here in MLC.

Anyway after the last lie I could stomach one poster on here, painter I think told me to "let it go". So I did. I sold the house, moved to this place and got on with my life. And things have been great. I've had a lot of fun.

I went full nc. Last year she and I had a total of one non digital conversations. One. This is important as it relates directly to the reason I've decided to post.

I always maintained I'd not be her friend after D. For a lot of reasons.

S11 plays sports, and when he has a competitive game that the only time ExW and I are in the same room together. I don't sit with her and don't talk to her. Not being a douch, just not interested in giving her a free pass. I have to let go and this is the only way I know how.

Now a couple of weeks ago my brother was diagnosed with cancer. Before you panic it seems like it's very treatable and the mortality rate is low. We're all hopeful he will be fine. I had to go see him. He lives 700 miles away and needed to get on a plane. But it was my weekend with S11 so asked ExW if we could swap weekends. She of course said no problem and asked if I was going somewhere nice. I said no and explained the situation. She was very concerned and asked to be kept up to date. And to be fair she did text me asking how he's doing. And she's text my brother and SIL expressions no her concern and hoping the best for them.

And now to today. The reason I felt compelled to come back and write this. At the sport complex I was waiting on S11 and he turned up 5 minutes before her. She came in and sat beside me and started asking about my brother etc. Of course I filled her in and she asked about my mum etc which is all normal. We had to move to the other side of the court as that was where S11's game was and again she sat with me. She needed a coffee and something to eat and asked if I wanted anything. I said no. Because I really didn't need anything but she asked again. Still said no but I thought it nice she asked.

And then we started talking and it was so frikking easy. I had to hold myself back a few times because I just wanted to talk. No r stuff, just normal stuff. It was almost like it was back in the day. Before all this.

After the game I left. She and S11 and no doubt her boyfriend were going out for food. she did say see you as I left and I replied see you around and left.

Anyway sorry for the long post. Just thought I'd share.