So we are 3 weeks post the start of Retrouvaille. I am starting to feel a shift in my thoughts and feelings. The triggers don't have much affect on my emotions. I feel more calm in general. I have a new level of compassion and understanding for my H. We have shared more laughs in the last 3 weeks than we have in a long time. I feel hopeful. ... I also know that I need so keep on it. There are no light switches or magic fairy dust. This will be a continued effort and commitment on both our parts.
yes ^^^^^
I think in DR when MW says it only "takes one to tango," she is referring to the fact that it takes one to show changes, to be affectionate, to be open, to find forgiveness and understanding, and to start the healing process.
yes^^^^
Once we can start that, we know we have opened the door. What we can't do is force the other person to come inside. That has to be their choice. I am trying to keep my home warm and inviting and not just assume H will always want to be here. That is the only thing I can control.
Blu
great post.
Looking back, I think if we had addressed h's underlying issues 10 years ago, well...who knows? All I can say is that it would either have helped us truly restore AND stay on track with our m,
or we'd have ended it then. You are doing what you can, so stay at it.
As for the "not just assume h will always want to be here"....
do you mean that you cannot take his involvement in the m, as a given? Not take him for granted?
(I'm just asking for clarification b/c I was not sure.)
Keep posting!!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
