Who's fault is this again? Can I forgive her?

[Irish M]

Hi Gordie.

likewise my friend. We do have different MLCrs in our lives but I see that you are a good man and father. I respect that more than anything in the world. A parents who is a true parent. Keep doing what you are doing. Planting those positive seeds. Hopefully your Wife is one of the those who will do the work during her crisis and after her crisis to fix her life and those of your children. Prayers are with you.

Hi bttrfly.. yes papa bear is always on duty..

as for her replying .. Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah! Nada! and my day is still beautiful.

Truth darts don't do her well. I needed to get it off my chest and if she wants to let it spin around in her head and say nothing I have no worries. I take and give what I want, I expect her to do the same.

yes to you both Bttrfly and Roist on her being not well. I know this. I also know that her current entourage, including XMIL are not going to help her in anyway. OM is an MLCr as well. So they play nicely into each other self pity. It is going to be a long time before she see's any clarity.

Her mom has never recovered from her own MLC.. completely changed personality and became unloving and selfish.

I've had the rose colored glasses off for quite some time now. I recall the last few years together with XW , some occasions her moms personality would take over her own. I'd say, my god you are just like your mother. I know, I know, no woman wants to hear that. lol but XW hated her mom. said she would never be as cold and as uncaring. Well.. nearly 2 years ago the transition took full swing and she became her mom.

Yesterday , I bumped into an old friend of mine and XW. She said she was in XW place of employment to place an ad in the paper. This was before XW transferred an hour away to another work location. This friend knew we had separated and her daughter knows my daughter. She is also aware that XW does not see her kids.

After some small talk , this friend says to me:

Can i tell you something . I saw your XW. About 2 months ago at her work. I brought the topic of your kids up because it bothered me , her not seeing them. I said to her that it must be tough not seeing them. I know how close you were to them and never let them out of your site. How are you doing with all this?

She said XW look totally lost to that comment and question. No emotion. Didnt even blink. Lost dark look in her eyes. XW replied.

Oh well...It is what it is. Life changes and if those who don;t agree don't want to follow. Too bad for them, So about that ad?

My friend was so taken back by this. Could this be the same mother she knew that loved her kids more than anything in the world. Not even a flicker of hurt or loss . It was like she was a teen saying haters back off.

I told her, XW has chosen her new life. Hope she figures it out one day.


That came when I started to forget once again that XW is sick. No way in H3LL would the old XW do this to her kids or even reply in such an uncaring way. What scares me is her mother didn't come out in one piece.. My expectation for XW are the same.

In Canada its a long weekend. This is day 3 of my mini vacation. Its sunny but cool.
The waling giants are in town so its a day not to miss.

hope you are all doing well, sleeping better and eating healthy.. remember , it does get better.