Hello ...
life has been great lately although I miss my kids but I know they are doing fine with my mom. Two weeks and I will be having them with me . On the other hand I am going mediation cycling , I joined some Meetup group for hiking and canoeing . Inaddiotion to having my night/dinners with friends.

I am feeling stronger and in a way life might be better solo without him . New possibilities I guess.

I have been doing well after my fiasco so I wrote an email and decided to sleep on it.. been editing it a bit but basically the theme is requesting for D . Maybe I will paste the email later so I decided to stir the pot a bit and get angry to send my final email.

I have not heard much from him lately ... but this time I am done . So I sent him an email with kids travel itnarary as I want his letter of approval for travel. Which I know he will send it. At the end of the email I wrote . "Note
I would still want to talk to you to discuss the future. I am still waiting for some plans from your end. I would appreciate to have clear specific dates . Let me know if you want to discuss anything and if you don't I guess I would have gotten my answer. "

Ok so no answer ,, I expected that , I honestly don't care what happens. I just want a closure I guess. So I sent a msg
"
Question - is this silence cry for help or a msg to xxx off . Don't bs me that you are busy . Maybe I will contact your mom or email your office to check"
"I would like you to call me my tomorrow Saturday Phone xxxx or skype Xxxx towards the night .. I have something to discuss. I would rather we talk about it rather that through emails."
I guess got scared that I call his mom or office not sure which one. But send me immediacy this msg
"Hi, no I will not BS you about being busy.... and yes let's have a call.... hope you are doing fine"

Ok so I am not sure if he will call but it has been a long time since we talked. Not sure where to start. Here are what I want
- I don't like this distant relationship and the silence
- I want to know what is his current situation work/bank/ health
- I want to know what kind of relationship does he has in mind and wether it is what I want or not. Any suggestion actually now that I am writing it I want to feel where in the spectrum of midlife cycle he is... is it still reply /denial /anger . My worry is that is depressed/suicidel if he is fine and just being stubborn then I can send my email with clear concious .

Does that make sense ?
Any suggestions ?

M 45 H 45
D1 12 D2 9
BD 04/14
Living two different state
Not officially separated