Well, lest you get too spooked, let me say MY experience with online dating overall was pretty good. I think what helped with me is that I was pretty good at reading between the lines on their profiles, and reading their photos. Most of the guys I met were pretty much as advertised. (My friend, on the other hand, cannot seem to pick up anything from their profiles and has mostly struck out).

I only dated one guy that I DIDN'T meet online - he picked me up while shopping in the discount store and shall forever be known as Mr. Big Lots. He wasn't any better or worse than the guys I met online.

I DID end up dating several Love Avoidants - guys that didn't really want to be in an actual relationship, were fine with just the occasional date. Probably a subconscious choice on my part, as I wasn't quite ready for a full time boyfriend myself (although I thought I was). I also dated some guys who were WAY too young for me - good for the ego but really a waste of time (although I have fond memories and we remain friends).

Then of course there's the Sociopath Ex Boyfriend, who looked like such a great guy and not commitment phobic at all - well, now we know that was too good to be true,

One alternative approach, not specific to dating but to creating a new social circle, is to join Meetup groups. Many people here have found that helpful. I've never done it but my Adult Rock Band class pretty much met that need for me, I made tons of new good friends in that group.

Wherever you find your dates, remember to live by the adage one of my younger girlfriends gave me - "No glove, no love". Our generation, unaccustomed as we are to worrying about stds, is apparently subject to increased risk. I'm SO grateful that I never had unprotected sex with Sociopath Ex Boyfriend .

All this being said - my first boyfriend after divorce was delightful. Yes, he was Love Avoidant, and yes, he dumped me after a year when his childhood sweetheart found him on FB. But he was crazy sexy, smart and well-read, and definitely gave me back my mojo. We are friends to this day. Don't be afraid - just discerning. And don't expect the first few to end up being The One. Just have some fun adventures.